Returning to You

Miss You now, more than ever before.. want You now, more than ever before… need You now, like ever before.. if only I had not let my vision get clouded by reasoning.. if only I had followed my heart.. I wouldn’t have lost my way to You..

I wait longingly.. I think I need to long more, before I see You..

I don’t know if I am evading You or You are evading me. All I know is that I have forgotten my way to You...

I cannot reach You, but You can.. because there is no place where You are not there.

I cannot find You, but You can… because you have the best view..

I cannot hear You, but You can.. because You are the primordial source of sound..

Forgive me, but I am afraid that I cannot even feel You, but You can.. because You are the all-pervading warmth, the only one who can remove the numbness in me..

Only You can, like none other...

I beg You, please reach me, find me, hear me, and engulf me in Your warmth, so that I can finally come back to You, as I did before I existed or never ceased to exist..

730 days ago...

This day two years back, he agreed to make her his; he agreed to breathe along with her every moment. Even today she relives some of those moments, when the good news was greeted with a mixed bag of emotions. It was almost as if a universe of tears had broken one of their walls and decided to drain out everything that morning.

It was his birthday the day before. His mother had given him the ultimatum on giving his verdict. She said you cannot hold people up as you wished. After much thought and deliberation, he finally nodded in the affirmative. His mother called her parents and told them that the matter could be taken ahead. As drums rolled in their minds, a different tune played when she heard from them. All heavens broke loose. Yes, but seemed like all hell broke loose! Her vulnerable mind had endured a lot by then. She couldn’t believe what she had heard. She had given up on thoughts of partnership. She cried and cried uncontrollably. Finally all the tough face and strong demeanor gave in. She couldn’t console herself to stop. Thankfully her parents understood and let her pour herself out, albeit both were on opposite ends of the phone line, some miles away.

But that morning and eventually in the day, she came to terms to believing that – that was the reality, though it took her several hours to let the truth knock her down in bundles of happiness to feel light and on cloud nine.. to fly like a relieved spirit.. she was finally going to be someone’s best friend.. or so she was hoping back then. Atleast she saw a potential prospect. She had seen a lot of bad times to think of anything worse. So in a sense, she was prepared to face it. Or maybe she had become numb! But that was then….

Calvin and Hobbes (sourced from the Internet)

Today…now, it is the present – a gift from the heavens! He keeps her happy and makes her smile and laugh. Yes, he does get on her nerves at times, but isn’t that life! Today, she is happy for the news that came 730 days back. Today, she is happy to be living the reality, where most of her fears have been put to rest. Thank you Lord Almighty, for the wonderful grace that You have bestowed on me! When I hear of all kinds in the world, I feel doubly blessed! Please let it be like this forever and let it get better with every passing day.. until my last breath! Many many thanks!

Calvin and Hobbes (sourced from the Internet)

The letter

She penned her thoughts.. she wanted to post the letter.. she wrote:

“It is now that I feel like I know you more… few words in the virtual space and none in the real.. probably that is why I still feel immensely connected… I don’t know if it is a stairway to heaven or hell.. but I felt like I was in a jungle or some desolate island.. or a world in sepia tones.. some kind of nothingness yet being complete.. living a movie of few words set in some far-away location.. I wish I could show you what I saw.. it was less claustrophobic, more filled with humanness and being… with silence that fills up and conveys more than words can ever try! I was really.. really living in the present.. the present called imagination… fed with images constructed in your mind.. what does that make me or you? You a puppet and me the string? Neither is the creator and yet both are!”

complete the picture for me

complete the picture for me

join me in all that we did

let me live each of those moments one more time

for i might never see them again

be it a musical or a play

or just a hot cuppa by the winding street

or the talk through the night

or the walks under the sky

be it a game

or those words in space

within 'parallel universes' with the moon shining bright

or the bears at the end of the day

image courtesy: http://www.masterfile.com/stock-photography/image/608-03473009/A-paintbrush-and-paint-can-with-a-face-and-limbs

complete the picture for me

join me in all that we did

let me live each of those moments one more time

for i might never see them again