How?!

what happens when the meaning of the word "faith" gets mixed up with religion or rather "being religious"... when the only expression that you have ever known in your faith is to love and that too unconditionally.

when you are not understood and worse still not given a chance to speak... when all that matters is the self of the other... when it is so easy for people to hurt you.. when people are afraid of confrontation... when people are afraid of their own fears... 

when people turn so self-centered that they dont think about how insensitive they have been towards you and your feelings... when all that matters is only ME rather than WE... when you will to give but the other refuses to take... when you look like an idiot while not thinking about yourself but only about the other... when the other does not make any effort to understand this!

when the other hates letting everyone know... when the other wants you to talk directly and yet does not give you a chance... when the other refuses to acknowledge... when the other knew it all along and yet kept dragging...

when the other assumes that you wont understand, while you actually can understand with some back reference... when the other thinks that you dont have any back reference! when the other is only to bothered to nurse their wounds!

when all the dreams are built on foundations and basis provided by the other... but then suddenly the other backs off... without a word... without a heart! shattering dreams, shattering the wishes of so many people, shattering the core of not just that one - you - but the other's self too!!

you idiot! how could you?! konchum kuda anbu illeya unnaku? anba vittu tallu.. manasu illeya onnaku? konchum kuda nenaichu parkaliye ni?

And then...

When we met and then let all know about our meeting,

When our folks met and our folks also let all know about our decision,

It was a happy moment for sure!

Finally it seemed like the search had ended!

Each time I would meet someone,

I felt my eyes locked with your’s,

A shy smile spread across my face,

Every pore oozing happiness as they all in unison proclaimed.

In song, from a movie or devotional or classical,

Your name appeared.

All heads turned towards me..

Laughter and mirth like I had never before heard.

And then all the chaos happened.

Yesterday the situation was similar..

They still played and sang the same songs..

Only this time, my eyes looked down

No other head turned towards me either.

Maybe they felt my pain.

Maybe they dint see me shy again.

Maybe they wondered if I would be hurt.

Maybe they just dint want to pour salt on a soft skin burnt.

image courtesy: http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumblarge_185/1189950770bEgAvv.jpg

I searched endlessly for that coy smile

That mischief in the song.

Those dozen eyes to turn towards me

To tell me it was all a short n bad dream.

You have ridden me of my enthusiasm

The excitement that comes like a blossoming flower in a bride’s life

I don’t know what to name it anymore.

I never knew it now nor before.

Yes, my search has ended… for I can’t search any more!

This is it, or else nothing else is!

That’s for now.. my final call!